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Thursday, Oct 27 – Happy Birthday to Me!

It's my birthday. A few months ago, my calendar showed that I'd be flying to India today. How things change. How things we take for granted - like health - can sneak up and whack you (me) alongside the head and rock ones' world. India will wait. As will every other country in the world. They'll be there next year when I've tamed this cancer. Yesterday I completed my 8th chemo cocktail. Again, without suffering any negative side effects. I…

Sunday, Oct 16 – One-third through, Woo Hoo!

Wednesday was my 6th chemo treatment, out of 18. Two 3-week cycles complete, out of 6. I've completed one-third of the regimen! When I started chemo, I didn't delve too deep, didn't ask too many questions or do too much research because I didn't want to imprint all the horrid possibilities in my mind. The staff tried to prepare me with some basic information and guidelines. They told me that - with 100% certainty - that I would lose my…

Thursday, Oct 6 – Got Chemo?

  I never thought I'd be happy to say, "I got chemo!" But I was greatly relieved to learn that my white blood cell counts were high enough for them to give me my "chemo cocktail" last Wednesday and again yesterday. So I'm not weepy anymore! And, gratefully, I'm still suffering no ill effects from the chemotherapy, aside from some fuzzy brain stuff (which I cannot be certain isn't age-related!) Looking back on those two missed weeks of chemo, I…

Wed, Sept 21 – Another weepy week

Some people cry a lot. I’m not one of those people. Except for the past week when it seems as if I’ve cried - if not a river - at least a stream. Or maybe a brook. In other words, I’ve cried a lot more than I ever allow myself to cry. You see, I am an optimist. I’m hopeful. Confident. Cheerful. Strong. I don’t give in to negative tendencies. Even when I was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer, my first…

Sat, Sept 10 – Three down, only 15 more to go!

I'm making an effort to not "futurize" too much about chemotherapy. It's a bit challenging, however, when all my medical people ask with an expectant tone, "Have you experienced ___________________ [insert: nausea, vomiting, pain, and/or fatigue] yet?" My answers are, so far, "No, No, No and No!" Who knows what the future will bring? But for now - which is the only time that matters - I'm feeling as good as can be after three chemo cocktails. They call them…

Friday, Sept 2: Forlornly Shorn (or, A Bad Buzz Cut)

"I look like my brother with mascara!" I shrieked. And then I wept. Until that moment, I had not felt like a cancer patient, nor looked like one. Now, there was no mistaking it. There were only a few other possibilities:  I had converted to some oppressive religious cult, had a bad case of head lice or was being readied for prison camp. But I have ovarian cancer. This is another dose of reality. This is really happening. Cancer scares me. I hate…

Wed, Aug 31 – Chemo Week #2: A Gratitude Journal

Things for which I am grateful on this day, August 31, 2016: I appreciate that Brutus slept in today without any howling - which permitted me to wake up naturally at about 7am. I am grateful for my heavenly master bedroom - which was recently upgraded and painted the most gorgeous shade of dusty greenish-blue, as suggested by my talented designer friend, Shelley Beckes. I never grow tired looking out the French windows onto the back yard birch grove which was…

Wed, August 24 – Chemo Week #1: A Cakewalk

At last! Today I started chemo. One down, only seventeen more to go! I slept well last night and awoke in my beautiful new bedroom, painted the colors of heaven. I said a prayer of gratitude for blessings - most especially my wonderful husband snoring gently by my side. For this home. My family and friends. My health. And our two black kitties, Petey and Brutus, who were starting their wrestling ritual to determine which will be alpha cat today. [caption id="attachment_300" align="alignleft"…

Sunday, August 21 – Getting Anxious

Someone who knows me quite well sent an email a couple of days ago. "We've read your blogs and newsletters and sense that there may be more going on than what you've said there." It stopped me in my tracks. I thought on the question for a long while, analyzing if I've been in denial, or if I've put on some kind of Pollyana persona to deflect my fears. I suppose I would wonder the same about me. I am,…