My husband, Scott, started piano lessons on Tuesday. The piece of music which he’s practicing, over and over and over, is “Ode to Joy.”
It’s a fitting title for this blog.
You might think it odd for me to write about joy, since I reported last week the unwelcome news that, “the disease has progressed,” as my doctor carefully articulated. (I’m noticing that doctors deftly avoid using the word ‘cancer’ whenever possible.)
But today was such a beautiful day. It rained a lot here in southern California – which is desperately needed to reverse the drought. The sky – most often a boring cloudless blue – was magnificent today with ever-changing and dramatic cloud formations. I saw a rainbow this afternoon. And the moon is full tonight.
How can I not be joyful?
The way I see it, I have two choices. I can stay in positivity and joy, seeing the beauty and wonderment all around me. Or, I can sink into despondency and fear. After all, I have cancer! And it didn’t go away after the first round of chemo. It’s now in the lymph nodes, for God’s sake. Pretty scary stuff.
So I’m entitled to be discouraged and distraught. But I’m choosing joy.
I start a new chemo regimen next week. The drug I’ll get is specifically for ovarian-cancer patients for whom a platinum-based chemo drug was ineffective. That’s me. I’m grateful that somebody developed such a targeted medicine. I’m grateful that there are people who thrive on biology, chemistry and other such sciences that I skillfully avoided through my entire academic career. I’m grateful for the patients who agreed to clinical trials when it was first developed. I’m grateful that it’s been approved for use by the FDA since 1995. I’m grateful for Doxil, even if it is part of “Big Pharma.”
I’m doing other things to support my physical and mental health: weekly Reiki, yoga (though not yet a daily practice), walking (though not yet a daily practice – which I could blame on the rain, which would be a flimsy excuse!) and nightly calls with a friend who does an affirmative prayer for me.
I’m feeling fine. I’d never guess I have a disease. I look healthy. Oh, there’s a slight pain in my groin area where I must have pulled a muscle doing yoga. And I have to draw my eyebrows on with a pencil each morning. And eyelashes? Well, that’s a subject for another whole blog. But the hair on top of my head – which for months has been a quarter-inch stubble – can now be described as fuzzy. It’s growing!
Yeah – joy and faith are my preferred states of being. I just can’t help myself!
So every time Scott plays Ode to Joy, I visualize loving my body back to perfect, radiant health!
And so it is!
Comments?
Maureen
January 13, 2017Marilyn you are a constant source of inspiration. Love and Hugs – Maureen
Kathleen A Barry
January 13, 2017I love that sweet little head of yours MM – you move, touch and inspire me. Choose joy! 🎹🎼.
Marcie
January 13, 2017Marilyn, I also picture your new chemo regime to be perfect for your return to radiant health. Thank you, Scott, for playing Ode to Joy!
Diane
January 13, 2017Joy and faith lead to many blessings.
Embrace all the love coming to you
😍 XOXO
Elaine
January 14, 2017😘🙏🏻❤
Felice
January 14, 2017YOU are adorable!
Diane Bowen
January 14, 2017Keep up the good work and thoughts!
Mary Goldstein
January 14, 2017You are truly an inspiration Marilyn.
Sending love & hugs,
Mary 😘
Jane Halsey
January 15, 2017You are such a gift to so many. The photo you took and the words reflect an extraordinary soul. Thank you for being you and always keeping it real. I shall put on my Marilyn filter today and see it all as a gift.
Love to you and your piano player.
Ron Murphy
January 17, 2017You’re an example for all of us!
Ron Murphy
January 17, 2017Was kind of hoping Scott would start with some Chuck Berry or Jerry Lee Lewis. Ray Charles?
Karen Oxrider
January 18, 2017Marilyn, Thank you for sharing your sweet, upbeat and very personal journey with us. We know that you are right where you are meant to be today and through prayers, support and lots more joy from friends and family you are moving through this with strength and a perfection in health. Love you. Karen
Dan Peters
January 23, 2017Just a beautiful blog! You are the strongest person I have ever met! Still continue to inspire and LOVE life! Love you MM!!
-Danny